Ted Stays

Nothing tweaks the national nipple quite so much as an All Blacks loss. It hurts, doesn't it? Oh, and in a place so difficult to reach.

Still, we have bigger problems. NZ is in recession. Blameless dogs are dying on an Auckland beach. Paula Abdul has left American Idol.

Lighten up just a little. Would you?

I know that for many, the pain is simply too much. That itch you just can't scratch has a name and that name is Graham.

A couple of losses in South Africa and suddenly his job is back on the line though why, when his overall record is so impressive, are so many consumed by what he has not achieved?

Is accentuating the negative just a New Zealand thing? Or just a New Zealand rugby thing?

So here's the heads-up. Graham Henry is the All Blacks coach this week. He will still be the coach next week. This time next year? Yep, still him. And the year after that, if our stars are aligned, he will smile benevolently in the background while Richie McCaw lifts the Webb Ellis Cup.

And since we're all in agreement now, here are 10 reasons Henry will remain All Blacks coach.

1 He has already been re-hired: Don't you read? I'm sure it was in all the papers. The NZRU board decided in April and announced in July that the All Blacks coaching panel's contracts would be extended until after the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Employment law can be a tricky thing at the best of times and perhaps best left to the professionals, but I imagine it would need more than a couple of nasty losses against the World Champions at home to find an excuse to rip up that shiny new contract.

2There's a recession on: And you're trying to put someone OUT of work? Shame on you. No really, face it. You are stuck with things the way they are. Besides, what if ...

3 They win the Bledisloe Cup and the Tri Nations?: There goes your argument, really. For another year anyway.

4 Look at his record: The doubters among you will hate this, but Graham Henry still has one of the greatest records in All Blacks history. He can't touch Fred Allen, obviously (14-0), but a win/loss ratio up around 80-something per cent? And you're whingeing?

5 Play the ball, not the man: Some serious rugby brains from Sean Fitzpatrick on down are now questioning the coaching set-up. That's a good thing. A healthy discourse never hurt anyone. But while I've read a lot of people pointing out the problems, I haven't read many solutions. I don't think the lineout's working either, but there used to be a way for former All Blacks to offer assistance to their contemporaries and it wasn't through the media.
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6 Stop obsessing about the world cup: For goodness sake, it's two years away. Just for once, would it be possible for us to take time out from being the most easily-provoked nation on the planet? Welsh rugby sage Stephen Jones would naturally hope not because a generous proportion of his apparently successful career depends upon it. Here's the thing about the 2011 Rugby World Cup. The All Blacks will win it. Or they won't. But it WILL be the single greatest event to hit New Zealand. So where's the problem, really?

7 Just shut up about Robbie Deans will you?: He has gone. Get over it. Seriously, do you want to spend the rest of your life in an alternative reality? Or is that the only way you can get through the day in Christchurch? How can I put this? Robbie Deans coaches the W.A.L.L.A.B.I.E.S. They live in A.U.S.T.R.A.L.I.A.

8 Rugby is not a democracy: Do you honestly think your opinion counts? The people who pay Graham Henry's wages are not listening to you or Martin Devlin on the wireless. There used to be a member of the media the NZRU feared, but T.P. McLean died a while ago.

9 Don't make it personal: I hope Graham Henry doesn't know what or where a blogosphere is, because it doesn't seem to like him very much.

10 Who would you replace him with? Thought so.