Rants, Raves and Regrets
Venus seems so far away, empty coffers make the most noise
I have absolutely no idea what kind of fucked up predicament I am in right now. This year, as any other year in recent years, has been absolutely terrible.
The PAE, first three months in JC was absolutely heaven, save for the occasional fool or bastard. Rugby. ANd finally some finally some intelligent conversation. It seemed like it wold never end. But each day seemed to zoom by faster and faster. For the first time in my life, I was actually happy to wake up at 6am, to look forward to a day in class. And a teacher who spoke ENGLISH. And my whole universe revolved around the oval ball. Sure, I might have not been the best player, but I definitely would have made captaincy if I had stayed on. IF.
But the ALMIGHTY thought otherwise.
All those dreams and hopes. Crush in that one deft flick of Dog's wrist. Make no mistake. I spelt Dog. Not god. No CAPS for you Mr divine. Daryl or Delia or any of you fucking hypocritical zealots see this, FUCK YOU.
POLYTECHNIC:
Why the hell I'm in this course, I have no idea. Pretentious motherfuckers, posers, and backstabbers. Not to mention those who can't write for nuts. Can't speak. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU CAMBRIDGE EXAMINERS PAID FOR?!?! TO GRADE BULLSHIT?!?!
When I heard the YJ boys had clinched the touch trophy, I felt even worse. Sure, I was happy for them. But that thought that I could have been part of that just made me feel even worse. This fucking "institute of education" doesn't even have a decent rugby team! It's just full of STUPID FUCKERS, chinese-educated morons, HDB dwellers and people who save a lifetime to buy a shirt. At a very broad count, less than 5 people deserve to be in the Media Studies course. Its Media Studies for goodness fucking sakes!!! How the hell did they get in?!?!
And when I see my friends get promoted I feel even worse. Here I am suffering, 3 years straight. And they enjoy the fruits of their labor. 2 years. Thats it. And that place is filled with nice people. Smart people. Not fools. Had I been packed off at a young age, maybe I'd hae amoptop by now, perhaps on a fast track to a university? But why the hell did Dog fuck my GEP up??!?! You tell me oh-so-divine-you-gave us-your-son? WHY? yor divine plans? FUCK YOU! There is no plan is there. Dog is just a big bully with the magnifying glass standing with his backto the sun over an anthill. WHY DO ALL THE UNDESERVING PEOPLE GET TO GO OVERSEAS AND STUDY?!? Do I not deserve? I could have been anything!
Charis, don't you DARE tell me him this and him that. his plans and his divinity. yahweh is all powerful and all knowing. he is just like shit!
I bother to try, to work - HARD, to participate. And I get is told that I'm not a YJ student so I don't get game time?!?! What manner of injustice is this?!? I, born with talent undeniable even to Dog, and all I get is a mediocre education?! A sty for a homeland?!?
Listen to me Lee Kuan Yew, Lee Hsian Loong and all the cronies. FUCK YOU! FUCK CONSCRIPTION! I WILL NOT BE PART OF YOUR PLANS TO FORTIFY THIS NATION NOR WILL I BECOME A PROFESSIONAL KILLER. OF ALL THE TRADES, THAT BE THE MOST DESPICABLE. I WILL NOT SERVE THIS POOR EXCUSE FOR DEMOCRACY! You whoso threatened my father, you can be assured someday, if DOg really has eyes, you'll die of a relapse of cancer.
I saw John Wisnoski at the SCC 7s playing for Singapore. It struck me, really hard, that that could have been me. ALthough it might not be much to be proud of, playing for the nation means that you must have some substance. Flashbacks to when I was 6. Had i not woken up late and forgoed that rugby clinic at the padang, the very ground which I stood on, the world could have been mine. I might be well aware of all this shit the nation is, but being elite means the path is paved for you. I wouldn't have to worry. And again at the exhibition match. That could have been me. Pace, speed, unbreaking stride. IF.
Of all the people in the world. Why me? Of all the billions of people. It just had to be me? Please, I've had enough the divine clap chap and heavenly plans that are weaved like fine gossamer. Oh yes. Godlessness is the new black. But I digress.
God! Ryan you should never have stopped me from drinking Dettol. I would have this weight of the world of my shoulders now. I would burn in Hell. But even that would be a relief from what I'm facing now. I'm cursed with breath. And I just turned 17. Is this some novel, or some prank. A bad dream perhaps? I pinch myself as hard as I can, I do hope i wake up soon. Or not not wake up at all when i slumber.
Just what exactly do you take me for, Dog? JOB?
I have absolutely no idea what kind of fucked up predicament I am in right now. This year, as any other year in recent years, has been absolutely terrible.
The PAE, first three months in JC was absolutely heaven, save for the occasional fool or bastard. Rugby. ANd finally some finally some intelligent conversation. It seemed like it wold never end. But each day seemed to zoom by faster and faster. For the first time in my life, I was actually happy to wake up at 6am, to look forward to a day in class. And a teacher who spoke ENGLISH. And my whole universe revolved around the oval ball. Sure, I might have not been the best player, but I definitely would have made captaincy if I had stayed on. IF.
But the ALMIGHTY thought otherwise.
All those dreams and hopes. Crush in that one deft flick of Dog's wrist. Make no mistake. I spelt Dog. Not god. No CAPS for you Mr divine. Daryl or Delia or any of you fucking hypocritical zealots see this, FUCK YOU.
POLYTECHNIC:
Why the hell I'm in this course, I have no idea. Pretentious motherfuckers, posers, and backstabbers. Not to mention those who can't write for nuts. Can't speak. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU CAMBRIDGE EXAMINERS PAID FOR?!?! TO GRADE BULLSHIT?!?!
When I heard the YJ boys had clinched the touch trophy, I felt even worse. Sure, I was happy for them. But that thought that I could have been part of that just made me feel even worse. This fucking "institute of education" doesn't even have a decent rugby team! It's just full of STUPID FUCKERS, chinese-educated morons, HDB dwellers and people who save a lifetime to buy a shirt. At a very broad count, less than 5 people deserve to be in the Media Studies course. Its Media Studies for goodness fucking sakes!!! How the hell did they get in?!?!
And when I see my friends get promoted I feel even worse. Here I am suffering, 3 years straight. And they enjoy the fruits of their labor. 2 years. Thats it. And that place is filled with nice people. Smart people. Not fools. Had I been packed off at a young age, maybe I'd hae amoptop by now, perhaps on a fast track to a university? But why the hell did Dog fuck my GEP up??!?! You tell me oh-so-divine-you-gave us-your-son? WHY? yor divine plans? FUCK YOU! There is no plan is there. Dog is just a big bully with the magnifying glass standing with his backto the sun over an anthill. WHY DO ALL THE UNDESERVING PEOPLE GET TO GO OVERSEAS AND STUDY?!? Do I not deserve? I could have been anything!
Charis, don't you DARE tell me him this and him that. his plans and his divinity. yahweh is all powerful and all knowing. he is just like shit!
I bother to try, to work - HARD, to participate. And I get is told that I'm not a YJ student so I don't get game time?!?! What manner of injustice is this?!? I, born with talent undeniable even to Dog, and all I get is a mediocre education?! A sty for a homeland?!?
Listen to me Lee Kuan Yew, Lee Hsian Loong and all the cronies. FUCK YOU! FUCK CONSCRIPTION! I WILL NOT BE PART OF YOUR PLANS TO FORTIFY THIS NATION NOR WILL I BECOME A PROFESSIONAL KILLER. OF ALL THE TRADES, THAT BE THE MOST DESPICABLE. I WILL NOT SERVE THIS POOR EXCUSE FOR DEMOCRACY! You whoso threatened my father, you can be assured someday, if DOg really has eyes, you'll die of a relapse of cancer.
I saw John Wisnoski at the SCC 7s playing for Singapore. It struck me, really hard, that that could have been me. ALthough it might not be much to be proud of, playing for the nation means that you must have some substance. Flashbacks to when I was 6. Had i not woken up late and forgoed that rugby clinic at the padang, the very ground which I stood on, the world could have been mine. I might be well aware of all this shit the nation is, but being elite means the path is paved for you. I wouldn't have to worry. And again at the exhibition match. That could have been me. Pace, speed, unbreaking stride. IF.
Of all the people in the world. Why me? Of all the billions of people. It just had to be me? Please, I've had enough the divine clap chap and heavenly plans that are weaved like fine gossamer. Oh yes. Godlessness is the new black. But I digress.
God! Ryan you should never have stopped me from drinking Dettol. I would have this weight of the world of my shoulders now. I would burn in Hell. But even that would be a relief from what I'm facing now. I'm cursed with breath. And I just turned 17. Is this some novel, or some prank. A bad dream perhaps? I pinch myself as hard as I can, I do hope i wake up soon. Or not not wake up at all when i slumber.
Just what exactly do you take me for, Dog? JOB?
posted by Gabriel at 11:07 pm
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