I use the term paradise loosely here, because I'm talking about Australia. But if you've been in Wellington the past couple of days, with our weather, you'd know that paradise certainly isn't here...

But I digress. Here's a story the sport media should be all fucking over - especially at this time of the year when there's nothing on except a meaningless test match that's already been decided, a yachting race that nobody except the media and yachties care about, and the buildup to NZ's premiere Tennis event.

The Australian Associated Press and Daily Telegraph have let fly a story suggesting that the financial backers of Melbourne's Super Rugby franchise have, in true blue fair dinkum Aussie style, spat the dummy.

If you remember the press release from SANZAR when the decision was announced [it was very brief] you should remember that the arbitration board of David Kirk and the Hon Barry Paterson QC noted that the South African bid for the Southern Kings franchise

was more advanced with regard to business and financial planning and organization structure and governance. The Southern Kings were also able to point to a strong rugby tradition, a large playing base and presented a stronger case than Melbourne as to their rugby readiness.

So why did they decide to go with Melbourne? Oh yeah.

These strengths of the Southern King’s Application did not, however, offset the benefits in geographical location and commercial value to SANZAR (both of which criteria the Experts were asked to place considerable weight on) that the Melbourne Application was able to deliver.

I had my concerns when I first read that, but I gave it a go. After all, this is the first time we've seen a privately-owned franchise in Super Rugby and we've seen what private backing can achieve in the past [remember the events that got Matt Giteau to the Western Force?]. But now it looks like the whole thing's starting to unravel.

The catalyst for the departure of some backers is put down to the Australian Rugby Union's opposition to subsidise the franchise and rightly so. It was always billed as a private union, so why should it be given a subsidy - aside from ensuring there are sufficient players available? Why would the ARU, as a business entity, invest money into a team which is not guaranteed of a fan base as it is to operate in a city which is the absolute heart of AFL and already has a very, very successful rugby league team? I mean, the Force in Perth are part of a more equal market and get an average following, but take a team to Melbourne would be like putting a football team in Wellington. And we know how many fans that lot have.

I reckon this is just political posturing from the Melbourne backers, but I hope the ARU stands firm. But if this deal really is on the rocks, what happens?

If the Melbourne Whateverthey'regonnabecalleds don't show sufficient progress [like, coming up with a team name, or a coach, or players] by a specific date, what happens? Do we stay with the Super 14? Do the Southern Kings get to rush around for six months [or however long] trying to re-establish their union? Or does SANZAR just bail out the team and get it going?

Because we've seen one SANZAR union grabbed by its balls and made to do as it's told, and not as it wants, this year - so someone's gotta stand up and flip the bird at these mucky little manipulators before it's too late.

Update: So it looks like the beatup came from the dick from the Melbourne bid. But then again, the ARU doesn't have the most respectable track record.