Why I Hate The French

Carrying on the tradition of taking the mickey out of the French, we have:


They wear berets, and they're all call Jack (Jacques).
They even still from us the words they lack,
Le weekend, Le Camping and cul de sac
That's why I hate the French.

The Brits kindly offered to give them Calais,
All they got in return was the bidet.
And now they won't let Brits go on holiday,
That's why I hate the French.

They claim their movies are the best we've ever had,
I suppose they think Emmanuel(Carrere) was the best.
Charles Aznavour is always depressed,
Wouldn't you be if 'Oui oui' (wee-wee) meant yes?

They're pretty cocky about their games in the dark,
They think with girls they light a special spark.
But look what the bastards did to Joan of Arc (Jean D'Arc),
That's why I hate the French.

They bottle bath-water and call it Perrier,
They eat poor froggie's legs then throw the rest away (Waste of food).
They eat raw garlic and invented croquet,
That's why I hate the French.

And All their songs sound more or less the same,
La la la la la la la la.........je t'aime.
France's existence is such a shame,
That's why I hate the French.

They bake their bread in such a naughty shape,
They brag about their wine and worship the grape.
They criticise our food but then they eat loads of crepe,
That's why I hate the French.

And now they started coming here in their own droves,
French cigarettes, French letters and French clothes.
That prick Van Gogh even cut off his own earlobes.
I'm sick and tired of eating all this Brie,

And I'll be buggered if I go to gay Paris (pair-ee).